When I was a girl I did my best to hide We all had to run for cover From my father and his drunken pride He’d leave us alone But never for too long He’d beat up on my mother And tell us he’d be the only one How could I learn to love From somebody so abusive? I pulled back and went away To nurse my hearts bruises Today I got the news That his heart gave out I know I’ll never have another But what father darkens his own house? Well I heard what they say That family’s not for choosing Is closure real? Will I find peace? Or is it just an illusion All I know is it’s on me To battle on even in my grief We can't decide who lives or dies It’s a cold cold sword It’s a closing door And what could have been with time on my side It’s a bright red sound And try as I might to shut it all out Now I see that life is all mine He always let me know How I let him down It’s so painful to remember But it’s all the same and he’s not around