They said the day we got together we'd fall in love like birds of a feather, And that we'd have lots to share. All that happened was me screwing up, i accidentally touched her bra cup. Lighting my cigarette i accidentally set fire to her hair... I guess what i said had a lot to do with it, she said i'm crazy and she said i smelled like sh*&%. I tried to kiss her and i got bit... Chorus I guess i'm not getting laid We went out to eat i sneezed in her food she punched me in the face and called me rude. I thought the evening was going great. I spilled her drink i ripped her dress. i accidentally grabbed her breast. Elbowed her in the face trying to clean up my own mess. Repeat pre-chorus and chorus Instrumental Chorus