Almost every day I hear some kind friend say Sophie, dear, I think you’re much too stout Right away they suggest the diet they think best They make me sick, I wish they’d cut it out I don’t want to get thin, I don’t want to get thin Why should I, when I'm alright as I am? Those slender waisted mammas, they make me laugh My goodness, men like to see a little porch in there I don’t want to reduce, furthermore, what’s the use? When the men follow me around like Mary’s lamb The girls who talk of dieting, gee, they get on my nerves If you want to keep your husband straight, show him a lot of curves I don't want to get thin You can laugh, and you can grin But I'm doing very well the way I am! Miss Tucker, I think you could do with a pound less or two Look who's talking, If he'd close one eye he'd look like a needle! Mind your own business, Ted, I'm satisfied to be the way I am I’ve got a lot of what I’ve got, and my friends love it Mind you, they’re no vegetarians, they like their meat and plenty of it But I think you could spare a pound here or there Nobody is asking you, young man, keep your mind on your music I can't when you're around Look where I am not I can't see that far Alright, I'll buy you some field glasses I'm fat, and I know it, and I intend to stay fat Miss Tucker, you shouldn't say fat In the best places, they say 'one is stout' In the best places, I'm fat As I'm saying, folks, I'll eat anything Anything? Anything You wouldn't eat ham Well, we leave politics and religion out of this I've noticed one thing, girls, you can store this in your dome All of the married man who ran after me had skinny wives at home You'll have to be much thinner to attract the young chicks Don't worry, I'm doing all right with the Spaniards and the Greeks! I don’t want to lose weight The boys tell me I'm great My sweetheart loves me just the way I am I have no fear that he’ll go chasing around with other mammas He may find one who will fill my shoes but not my pajamas I don’t care what I weigh, I eat pie every day I hate pineapples, and I don’t care for lamb I'll tell you very frankly, I weigh one sixty-three But many as a Sonny Boy has tried to climb upon my knee And I don't want to get thin You can laugh, and you can grin But I'm doing very well the way I am!