How'd you do? I See you've met my faithful handyman He's just a little brought down Because when you knocked He thought you were the candyman Don't get strung out By the way I look Don't judge a book by its cover I'm not much of a man By the light of day But by night I'm one hell of a lover I'm just a sweet transvestite From Transexual, Transylvania Let me show you around Maybe play you a song You look like you're both pretty groovy Or if you want something visual That's not too abysmal We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie I'm glad we caught you at home Could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry We'll just say where we are Then go back to the car We don't want to be any worry So you got caught with a flat Well, how about that? Well, babies, don't you panic By the light of the night When it all seems alright I'll get you a satanic mechanic I'm just a sweet transvestite From Transexual, Transylvania So why don't you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite? I could show you my favourite obsession I've been making a man With blond hair and a tan And he's good for relieving my tension I'm just a sweet transvestite From Transexual, Transylvania I'm just a sweet transvestite From Transexual, Transylvania So, come up to the lab And see what's on the slab I see you shiver with anticipation! But maybe the rain isn't really to blame So I'll remove the cause But not the symptom