Everyone knows Rudolph has a big, red shiny nose And Frosty comes to town every December when it snows But did you know that those two never really got along? I bet you've never heard this Christmas song I've paid my dues for years and years, I'm Santa's very favorite deer, so I should be the second in command at Christmastime, says Rudolph Pull the sleigh where Santa goes and light the night with my red nose, I think it's time for me to get what's mine Night lights are replaceable--a talking snowman's magical; my agent says I need a bigger piece of Santa's pie, says Frosty I bring children real joy, not just the latest stupid toy, I think it's time for me to get what's mine Then Rudolph rang his reindeer bells Turned and sang with all the elves Hey Hey Hey Santa's on his way You'd better stop that bickering before it's Christmas day Ho Ho Ho Egg nog and mistletoe And Santa's gonna take a torch and melt you to the floor "Frosty, you've got coal for eyes, when things get hot you won't survive, so get out of my way, this job is mine all mine (now snowman step aside)," says Rudolph "Rudolph, man, your claim to fame's a lightbulb and a funny name, and everybody knows I'm next in line" Rudolph with your nose so bright Won't you kiss my corn cob pipe Hey Hey Hey Santa's on his way You'd better stop that bickering before it's Christmas day Ho Ho Ho Egg nog and mistletoe And Santa's gonna mount you in his living room for show "Hey Rudolph!" "What?" "I wrote a song about you!" "Oh boy" "You wanna hear it? Here it go Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer Had a very shiny nose And when ol' St. Nick saw it He thought it would look really good mounted on his wall" "Oh you think that's funny? Well check this out? Frosty the Snowman Was a puddle on the ground And a makeshift scoop for the reindeer poop Is the best use for his magic hat I've found" With a nod of his head, Rudolph took to the sky, and swooping down, he gouged at Frosty with an antler to the eye But Frosty struck right back and grabbed his bright red nose, and turned it right into a popcicle as Rudolph's whole head froze But Rudolph broke the ice, shook his antlers twice, and raced back in to strike again But then a "Ho Ho Ho!" came booming from the sky, the echoed voice of you-know-who With the cookies and milk and a bowlful of jelly in his belly And a dash through the sky, and a twinkle in his eye, St. Nick With a bag full of toys for the good girls and boys on his shoulder And a "Ho Ho Ho!" and a "Look out below!" St. Nick With the cookies and milk and a bowlful of jelly in his belly And a dash through the sky, and a twinkle in his eye, St. Nick With a bag full of toys for the good girls and boys on his shoulder And a reindeer call and a "Dash away all!" St. Nick "You two ougtta be ashamed, you've sullied Santa's perfect name, this operation would go down the drain if I retired," says Santa "Neither of you gets the job, so go and join the Grinch's mob, and Merry Christmas both of you, you're fired!" Then Santa broke into a smile Said, "Everyone else stay awhile" Hey Hey Hey Santa's here today And now it's time for Christmas dinner, everyone awaits Ho Ho Ho Everything's alright 'Cause Mrs. Claus has whipped us up a Christmas feast tonight Hey Hey Hey Santa's here today And now it's time for Christmas dinner, everyone awaits Ho Ho Ho Everything's alright 'Cause Santa's having venison and snow ice cream tonight