E

[Verse 1]
D# E
    How do you do, I
F# G
    See you've met my
G# A                  D# E  G# A
    faithful handyman.

D# E
    He's just a little brought down, 
F# G
    cause when you knocked
G# A                              D# E  G# A  
    he thought you were the candyman.
 
D# E
    Don't get strung out
F# G
    By the way I look,
G# A                     D#  E  
don't judge a book by its cover.
D# E
    I'm not much of a man
F# G
   By the light of day,
    G# A                       D# E  
but by night I'm one hell of a lover.
        
[Chorus]
           B7                      A                      E   D# E
I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.
 

[Verse 2]
D# E
    Let me show you around, maybe
F# G
    Play you a sound,
G# A                               D#  E  
    you look like you're both pretty groovy.

D# E
    Or if you want something visual
F# G
    That's not too abysmal,
G# A                           D#  E                                     
    We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.
 
[spoken Verse]
D# E
    I'm glad we caught you at home. 
F# G
    Could we use your phone? 
G# A                              D#  E  
    We're both in a bit of a hurry  -  Right
          D# E
We'll just say where we are, 
          F# G
Then go back to the car. 
G# A                             D#  E  
    We don't want to be any worry

[Verse 3]
          D# E
Well, you got caught with a flat, well,
F# G
    How 'bout that?
G# A                     D#  E  
    Well, babies, don't you panic.

    D# E
By the light of the night,
      F# G
when it all seems alright,
  G# A                     D#  E  
I'll get you a satanic mechanic.
         
[Chorus]  
           B7                      A                   E  D# E
I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.


[Verse 4]
             D# E  N.C.
Why don't you     stay for the night?  (Night.)
F# G    N.C.
    Or maybe a bite?  (Bite.
G# A    N.C.                      D#  E   N.C.
    I could show you my favorite       obsession.
N.C.    D# E  N.C.
I've been    makin a man
F# G N.C.
    With blond hair and a tan,
G# A  N.C.                          D#  E  N.C.
    And he's good for relieving my         tension.
 
[Chorus]
           B7                      A                  E       D# E
I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.
           B7                      A                  E        E
I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.
                
[Spoken Verse]
E  N.C.                  E
So - come up to the lab,
N.C.                           G
and see what's on the slab,
N.C.                                       E
I see you shiver with antici...pation.
N.C.                E
But maybe the rain
N.C.                   G
Is that really to blame,
N.C.                       A
So I'll remove the cause
N.C.                                 E
(chuckles), but not the symptom.