'Twas potato season '84 And I had just walked in the door Saw a pretty lady standing there I looked that lady in the eye and asked for a piece of big ol' pie Sat myself right down into a chair And I said: I love you like a daughter Even though you are my sister But ain't we all first cousins anywho? I saw you 'round the farm You were as pretty as a picture And I thought that I'd like summa that too! Well I can't remember if I were wasted But that there pie's the best I'd tasted! I thought this little bitch could be my wife So, I took her down the ol' pig pen Bent her down and rammed it in And quickly filled her up with the seed of life Oh, she screamed like a cow that just gave birth Young 'n tight, ain't much girth Mating season's pretty good this year Nine months later, a youngin' popped out Half boy, half pig with a big, pink snout That dirty bitch'd been messin' after me! And I said: I love you like a daughter Even though you are my sister But ain't we all first cousins anywho? I saw you 'round the farm You were as pretty as a picture And I thought that I'd like summa that too! Well, I sat that pigchild on my knee And said: Dear boy, won't you listen to me? Your mom's a dirty, dang hoe, bitch: Ah-ha! But even though she fucked a boar And comes across as quite the whore She sure does make a bitchin' apple pie! And I said: I love you like a daughter Even though you are my sister But ain't we all first cousins anywho? I saw you 'round the farm You were as pretty as a picture And I thought that I'd like summa that too!