Before I knew or so they say I never lost but got my own way Before the melting glacial snow All those days seem so long ago Before our eyes opened up so wide Heard doubtful voices deep inside Before love left all her cruel marks And wisdom wound all my hopes dark Before loneliness squatted your halls And west moved east against your call Before bitterness claimed rightful place And hope lost all her sugar coated taste I will wait for you Before and now it's the least I can do And now it's here in the guilt blood red In my nervous veins long unfed And now it's here jousting at my skin Facing up to facts that I couldn't let you in I don't want to grow old, not like this I just want to live free, free to exist