Now Delaney had a donkey that everyone admired Temporarily lazy and permanently tired A leg at every corner balancing his head And a tail to let you know which end he wanted to be fed Riley slyly said we`ve underrated it, why not train it, then they took a rag They rubbed it, scrubbed it, they oiled and embrocated it Got it at the post and when the starter dropped the flag There was Riley pushin` it, shovin` it, shushin` it Hogan, Logan and everyone in town Lined up, attackin` it and shovin` it and smackin` it They might as well have tried to push the Town Hall down The donkey was eyein` them, openly defyin` them Winkin`, blinkin` and twistin` out of place Riley reversin` it, everybody cursin` it The day Delaney`s donkey ran the halfmile race The muscles of the mighty never known to flinch They couldn`t move the donkey a quarter of an inch Delaney lay exhausted, hangin` round his throat With a grip just like a Scotsman on the five pound note Starter, Carter, he lined up with the rest of them When it saw them, it was willin` then It raced up, braced up, ready for the best of them They started off to cheer it but it changed its mind again And there was Riley pushin` it, shovin` it, shushin` it Hogan, Logan and Mary Ann Macgraw She started pokin` it an` grabbin` it an` chokin` it It kicked her in the bustle and it laughed hee-hah The whigs and conservatives, the radical superlatives Liberals and tories, they hurried to the place Stood there in unity, helpin` the community The day Delaney`s donkey ran the halfmile race The crowd began to cheer it, then Rafferty, the judge He came up to assist them, but still it wouldn`t bud