Nice man in a half nice suit One wife, two flings Still - nothing to lose (He mows the lawn) Destined to be eternally bored Hates his job, and his chores But God he loves that lawn (He mows the lawn!) (Wu-oh, deere john!) Won’t you mow my lawn? (Wu-oh, deere john!) When are you coming home? Go inside and face your wife Pale man with a very pale complexion He knows she knows All about his new affection (He mows the lawn) Made their vows for better or worse She sweeps the house He cleans the car He wants a beemer She’d prefer a hearse (He mows the lawn) (Wu-oh, deere john!) Won’t you mow my lawn? (Wu-oh, deere john!) When are you coming home? Go inside and face your wife 'Cause you’re too old for nightlife! Came home too late one night Couldn’t look her in the eyes Put his head under that mower As he slowly pulled it closer (Wu-oh, deere john!) Won’t you mow my lawn? (Wu-oh, deere john!) When are you coming home? Go inside and face your wife (Wu-oh, deere john!) When are you going back inside? (Wu-oh, deere john!) Because I think it’s about time Go inside and face your wife!