If you think it's easy
The madmen are checking
To see if you're home
God help the church
And the people it's hurt
Like sheep in a fold

I am the madhatter
And I'm getting fatter
If you'd like to know
I stood in the queue
To do what I do
With nowhere to go

If you think he's dirty
He once was a worker
A long time ago
He made test tube babies
For Catholic ladies
In Ladbroke Grove

A terrified rock star
Sits in a cop car
What will they do?
If the political parties
Roll into one
And leave it to you

A man in the morning
Sits in the wireless
To keep me asleep
You'll sit there like robots
And just for laughs
Grow old if it's cheap

I am the madhatter
And I'm getting fatter
If you'd like to know
I stand in the queue
To do what I do
With nowhere to go