Your nose is runnin'
And your eyes are red
Your head is achin'
You'd be better in bed

From the bottom of your fever
To the throbbing in your toes
You've got a cold
You've got a cold

You're searching madly
To find a cure
But the mercury's rising
To a hundred and four

You've got a beauty, a bad ass
The mother of them all
You've got a cold
You've got a cold

Ain't no use in fightin' it
Get into bed and try to sweat it out

Hot toddies (won't help you)
Warm blankets (won't sweat it out)
Inhalants (just choke you)
Hot flushes (will tell you)

Anyway, you've got it (oh, oh)
Ain't no doubt about it (oh, oh)
Nothin' new about (oh, oh)
You can scream and shout it (oh, oh)

Hot toddies (won't help you)
Warm blankets (won't sweat it out)
Inhalants (just choke you)
Hot flushes (will tell you)

Anyway, you've got it (oh, oh)
Ain't no doubt about it (oh, oh)
Nothin' new about (oh, oh)
You can't fight it

Foreign bodies in your Kleenex
You've got no taste at all
While your system is dyin'
The bugs are havin' a ball

You've got a beauty, a bad ass
The mother of them all
You've got a cold
You've got a cold

You've got a cold
You've got a cold
You've got a cold
You've got a cold

You've got a cold
You've got a cold
You've got a cold
You've got a cold