Relapse

Here I am again trying to forget the past but I can’t pretend that it won’t make its way back
I can’t look at you the same as I could before
Even though apologies were made I feel it more and more
In the back of my head lies memories repressed as I begin the salvage the happiness I have left
Too young to take in all the problems at hand but old enough to know exactly where I stand
Rebuild, rebuild
I’ll do whatever it takes to have my mind sit still
Cut you off cause I’ve had enough
I’m sick hearing I need to “toughen up”
This is not the way that I’m supposed to be
I’m fucking drowning and you’re letting me
Please, no more
I’m too far gone to float back to shore now
You’re still reading the book but guess what?
I skipped to the last chapter
We all die at the end.
Regardless of the way you pretend that my best interest is at hand
It’s just the way you pull me down
It’s like I can’t do a thing for myself without you…
Pulling at my sleeves
All you want to do is drag to my knees
Pulling at my sleeves
All you want to do is drag me to my fucking knees
And now I find myself believing in fictitious heroes
I’ve come to know at the end of the day it’s just the way that the wind blows
I can only save myself without your help
So if this is what it has to come to, you’re another burned bridge under my belt
The calm before the storm…forming around me, closing me in
The feeling begins
Here I am again trying to forget the past but I can’t pretend that it won’t make its way back
I can’t look at you the same as I could before
Even though apologies were made I feel it more and more