The First Song We Ever Wrote

Oh Baby (Oh Yeah)
This is a song for the ladies
(Ladies song tonight)
And I've been gay most of my life
(Gay a long time)
But I think I'm gonna make
An exception for you baby
(He'll probably still be gay after this)
I will cheat on you with other men
(Gay Sex)
But baby--
(LOTS OF GAY SEX!)
You'll be the only girl for me
(gay sex)
Do remember the first time we met?
(first time we met)
I was digging through the trash and you thought I was a homeless person
(Hobo in the trash)
But baby
(baby)
I just like dirty things
And baby
I like you
(heh, he likes you)
I can remember the first time i made sweet, sweet love
(making love to you)
It was to a shimmering Rainbow Trout
(making love to a trout)
It was the first fish I'd ever caught, coincidentally
It felt good, cause it had no teeth
(gummy trout)
I like no teeth
And baby
Thats why we were
Meant for each other
I don't care that you've
Been dead for 2 years
(dead a long time)
You still have that soft
Smile on your face
(oooh child)
That says Please Baby, Put down a goat, Daddy's gonna take you home
(taking you home)
I dont know what that means
I think it means I have herpes

Turtledoves and pigeons feet
Salamanders and old lunch meat
And I love you
The cardboard box that I ate through
Naked little boys in the locker room
Whoa
And I love you

Baby, I'd like to dress you up
Like an Ice Cream cone
And put salmon down your skirt
(salmon down ya skirt)
But not live salmon
Cause baby
Sometimes they bite
(PISSED OFF SALMON IN THE PANTS!)
I'd like to put a carrot down your pants
And cover you with Ranch Dressing
(creamy, low-fat)
Some people would think its man juice
But I would think it's sexy
(sexy, oohh yeah)
If love were a disease
Baby, I'd have gohnorrea
(gohnorrea)
Gohnorrea for you, baby
And though all the
Tests have been postive
Im pretty sure I don't have rabies
I bite school children by choice
(choosing biting kids)
And baby
I choose you
You know its funny how stale Jell-o reminds me of you
(I can insert random stuff here)
Funky and jiggley in the wind
(i have a penis)
Squishy like the hot flesh of your corpse
(Oooh Hot flesh-a!)
And most corpses are stiff
I would know
But not you, baby
Your special, like free ketchup packets

Ostriches and midget porn
Vaccinations and plastic corn
And I love you
(I'm loving you sweet child!)(WAA!)
Plastic whips and leather shoes
Hepititas and Elmers glue
And I love you

Ohh baby
You make me so hot
And I don't understand
Your about 20 degrees temperature