This Grudge

Cmaj7     C     Cmaj7   C       
fourteen years thirty minutes 15
 Em      C
 seconds I've
Em         C
held this grudge
Cmaj7   C    Cmaj7   C   
eleven songs 4 full journals, 
                 Em     C
thoughts of punishment
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I've expended


not in contact not a letter such 
communication telepathic
you've been vilified, used as 
fodder, you deserve a piece of every
 record


     F                C
but who's it hurting now?
F                      C
Who's the one that's stuck?
F                   C
Who's it torturing now
                 G
with an antique knot in her s
                     C          F
I want to be big and let go of
       G                  F
this grudge that's grown old
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          C              F        
All this time i've not known how 
   G           F
to rest this bygone
              C           F
I want to be soft and resolved
            G       F
clean of slate and released
             Am            G      
I want to forgive for the both of 
F   C
us

Like an abandoned house 
dusty-covered furniture still intact
If I visit it now, do I simply 
re-live it somehow gratuitous


But who's still aching now?
Who's tired of her own voice?
Who's it weighing down with no gift 
from time of said healing
                     C          F
I want to be big and let go of
       G                  F
this grudge that's grown old
          C              F        
All this time i've not known how 
   G           F
to rest this bygone
              C           F
I want to be soft and resolved
            G       F
clean of slate and released
             Am            G      
I want to forgive for the both of 
F   C
us
INTERLUDE:
         Am          C   G
Maybe as i cut the cord veils will 
lift from my eyes
         Am             C
Maybe as i lay this to rest dead
G
weight off my shoulders will rise


Here i sit, much determined ever 
ill-equipped to draw this curtain
How this has entertained, validated 
and has served me greatly ever the 
victim


But who's done whining now?
Who's ready to put down
This load I've carried longer than I
 had cared to remember


I want to be big and let go of this 
grudge that's grown old
For the life of me I've not known 
how to rest this bygone
I want to be soft and resolved clean
 of slate and released
I want to forgive for the both of us