Would Not Come

If I make a lot of tinsel then people will want to
If I am hardened, no fear of further abandonment
If I am famous, then maybe I'll feel good in this skin and
If I am cultured, my words will somehow garner respect

And I would throw a party, still it would not come
I would bike, run, swim and still it would not come
I go traveling and still it would not come
I would starve myself and still it would not come

If I am masculine, I will be taken more seriously
If I take a break, it would make me irresponsible then
If I'm elusive, I will surely be sought after often
If I need assistance then I must be incapable

I be filthy rich and still it would not come
I would seduce them and still it would not come
I would drink vodka and still it would not come
I have an orgasm still it would not come

If I accumulate knowledge, I'll be impenetrable
If I am aloof no one will know when they strike a nerve and
If I keep my mouth shut, the boat will not have to be rocked
If I am vulnerable I will be trampled upon

And I would go shopping and still it would not come
I leave the country and still it would not come
I would scream and rebel, still it would not come
I would stuff my face and still it would not come
I be productive and still it would not come
I be celebrated, still it would not come
I be the hero and still it would not come
I renunciate and still it would not come