Enough

I can't sleep
This feelings ripping through my body
I can hardly breathe
What's happening to me?
I feel scared, alone, lost, confused
Feels like all my life in my mind I've been abused
I can't see clearly, Can't think straight
Condition's got a hand on me
And I can't turn back, it's too late
Sickness always comes at a cost
Nineteen years old and five years lost
Should I blame it on my father?
Is he the one that fucked me up
Or did I bring this upon myself
The wrenching feeling in my gut
Screaming won't help
And bleeding won't either

But the drugs that I take
Help me function better
No one can save me from this hell
Things are bad when everything is well
Afraid to live, too scared to die
Everything's a mess, I can't comply
Lost all possible world perspective
When all the others were friends and I was rejected
What was I supposed to do to fit in
Suck up my anger and throw out a grin
While inside I was hurting from an open hole
The piece of me that something stole
And I can't control the way I shake

I feel like I'm about to break
Am I going insane, is my brain shutting down
Am I losing my balance, will I fall to the ground
What am I supposed to do?
How am I supposed to feel?
What am I supposed to think when nothing seems quite real?
I've had enough
I've had enough
I've had enough
I guess I'm giving up