America's On Sale

Alix Olson

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    ATTENTION SHOPPERS!!!
    attention 9 to 5 folk, cell-phone masses,
    the up and coming classes.
    attention sports-utility,
    plastic-surgery suburbanites,
    viagra-popping, gucci-shopping urbanites.
    attention george-clooney loonies,
    promise-keeper sheep,
    stockbroker sleep-walkers,
    big investment talkers,
    ricki lake-watchers.
    attention walmart congregation,
    shop til you drop generation,
    ATTENTION NATION!
    AMERICA'S ON SALE!

    We've unstocked the welfare pantry
    to restock the wall street gentry
    it's economically elementary
    because values don't pay,
    yes, american dreams are on permanent layaway!
    (there was limited availability anyway)
    the statue of liberty is being dismantled,
    ten dollars a piece to sit on your mantle
    or hang on your wall
    by the small somalian child
    you bought from sally struthers
    sisters and brothers, it's now or never,
    these deals won't last forever-
    AMERICA'S ON SALE!
    (restrictions may apply if you're black, gay or female)

    And shoppers!
    global perspective is ninety-ninety percent off
    cause most of the world don't count to us.
    our ethic inventory is low
    because moral business has been slow,
    the values-company is moving to mexico--
    and ALL ETHICS MUST GO!

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    It's a remote control America that's on sale
    because standing up for justice can't compare
    to clicking through it from a lazy chair--
    Answer: jerry, montel, oprah
    Question: folks who really care!
    for a million dollars!
    in this new mcveggie burger world order
    where the mainstream scene has an alternative theme.
    where national health care is one hundred percent off!
    and medicare is in the fifty percent bin,
    so you can buy--half an operation
    when AMERICA'S ON SALE!
    There's a close-out bid to determine
    which religion will win
    all the neon flashing signs of sin.
    the Christian Coalition is bidding high
    shoppers, you ask WHY?!
    who needs a higher power when you've got
    the purchasing power
    to corner and market
    one human mold.
    That's right - Real family values
    are being UNDERSOLD!!

    And it's open hunting season for the NRA!
    there's a special oozie discount-- only today!
    Gun control?! We say--
    Fuck it! Blow it all away!

    Because inflation is up on the CEO ego
    and power is deflated as far as we go:
    Nike bought the revolution,
    and law schools bought the constitution!
    Tommy Hilfiger bought the red, white, and blue,
    (a flag shirt for fifty dollars,
    the one being burned is you!)
    Marlboro bought what it means to be a man,
    Lexus equals power- so get it while you can.
    Maybelline bought beauty,
    New York bought Rudy Guiliani,
    Mastercard Gold bought the national soul
    Broadway bought talent and called it CATS!
    the Republicans bought out the Democrats-
    they liquidated all asses in a fat white donkey sale-
    now it's buy one shmuck, get one shmuck free
    in the capitalist party!
    And there's nothing left to get in the way
    of a full blue-light blow-out
    of the U.S. of A!
    there's a no-nothing back guarantee,
    a zero-year warranty,
    when you buy this land of the fritos, ruffles, lays..
    this home of the braves, the chiefs, the reds, the slaves!
    so call 1-800- i don't care about shit
    or www.FUCK ALL OF IT!
    to receive your credit for the fate of our nation-
    (call now! Interest is at an all-time low)

    But hurry shoppers!
    because america's being downsized, citizens,
    and you're all fired.

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    Composición: Alix Olson

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