Crazy Downtown

Mommy and dad
Are never nervous or mad
When you teenagers go downtown

Daddy and mom just stay
At home and keep calm
And watch the late late show
Uptown

Cause when you kids are gone
We get to spend some time alone here
That's our only chance to use
The bathtub or the phone here
When you're away

Besides, we're stuck where we are
Because you kids took our money
You kids took our car

And went downtown
Where can you possibly, downtown
It's twenty after three, downtown
What do you mean by let's frug

You don't come home till four a. m
Cause you're roaming in
The streets somewhere downtown

We would feel swell
If only someone would tell us
What goes on down there downtown

But every time we ask you
What you're doing after dark there
You just say that you were
Frugging to Petula Clark there
That's what I mean

So, kids, give your folks a break
Because you're driving us crazy
We sit here all night

And take pills down

Swallowing pills so we'll calm down
Counting the hours you're downtown
You and your frug and your slop

Downtown, downtown

While we're lying there
We try to watch the television
Then you call us up and say
You've had a slight collision
There goes the car

Beside that
You've been arrested
So we've gotta get up
And we've gotta get dressed

And go downtown
Borrow a car and go downtown
That's where you are
You finks, downtown
Wait'll I get you kids home

There'll be no more frugging
No swimming, no jerk
No mashed potato, no slop

And I'll tell you something else
You're gonna stay home tomorrow night
And your mother and I are going downtown
And we're gonna dance the tango
And the waltz and the foxtrot
And we're going to do the bunny hop

Those are nice dances
And there'll be no more frugging
Is that quite clear
No more frugging