A Mothers Confession

    A#                 F          
Our son is four months old his 
     C
name is Anthony or Ash for short
    A#                F            
And he's too small to do things by 
C
himself
           A#      F              
We were in A  over Christmas in a 
C                           A#
rental and we jury-rigged a place
              F            C
To change his diapers on a shelf
      A#            F             
I was peeing in the bathroom and 
   C
had left him for a second
         A#                  F    
'Cause I thought he couldn't move 
           C
and he was safe
          A#            F         
As I came out I saw him falling in
      C
 slow motion to the floor
       A#                 F       
It was probably the worst moment 
     C
of my life

[Instrumental]
 A# F C x2

           A#           F     
And then I accidentally stole a 
           C
thing of chapstick from the safeway
         A#            F          
I didn't see it 'til I got out to 
    C
the car
             A#        F          
I would have usually returned it 
         C
but I was overwhelmed
                     A#        
And late to take the baby to my 
 F                 C
cousins which was far away
      A#                       F  
In my defense, I'd bought like 87 
C
dollars worth of groceries
        A#              F      C
And the chapstick was a dollar 99
          A#               F
I know it wasn't the right thing to 
use
   C
My newborn child as an excuse
       A#               F         
But it felt like a good reason at 
    C
the time
         A#                F
And as I pulled out of the parking 
lot I cried
         A#              F
And as I pulled onto the highway I 
said right
   A#        F           C
At least the baby didn't die
   A#        F           C
At least the baby didn't die
            A#          F
And then we went to Sarasota
   C
To see Neil's cousin Helen
        A#           F         
For her birthday she just turned 
         C
ninety-nine
        A#             F
We were also there for Sidney
        C
Who was ninety-four two days before
    A#              F             
But he was sick, so mostly it was 
C
Ash and Helen time
       A#            F
She survived the Warsaw ghetto
        C
And she always says I love you"
         A#                  F    
When she sees you 'cause she knows
           C
 you never know
                 A#                
She'd worked for months while I was
 F
 pregnant
     C
On a gorgeous handmade blanket
    A#             F              
Her almost-hundred-year-old hands 
C
crocheting every row
         A#           F           
I'd been emailing her pictures of 
    C
the baby and the blanket
      A#                F         
Every day since she had sent it in
     C
 the mail
                 A#               
But they were of one that someone 
F
else had knitted
Continues after the ad
C
She was really nice about it
A#              F            C
Then I went and shoplifted a pair of
 ugly sunglasses
     A#                  F
From Goodwill (they were on my head
    C
I'd tried them on and left them 
there)
    A#                F
But that's not really bad compared 
to
                 C            A#
When we left the baby in the car

A# F C

   A#              F             
At least he wasn't in there very 
C
long
A#          F            C
 And not directly in the sun
              A#             F
And thank god no-one walking by 
              C
happened to notice what we'd done
         A#                  F    
I'm even scared to put these 
       C
lyrics in a song

But
Gm            A#        
Everything is relative and 
   F            G A#
everyone's related
Gm              A#
I can't do that much right now
    F                 G A#
But take care of this baby
         A#           F           
I figure everything's technically 
    C
all right
      A#         F            C
If at least this baby doesn't die
           A#             
And then I took a plane to 
 F          C
Washington alone
                        A#         
So we could visit Jason Webley 
      F
who's his godfather
    C
And plays a mean accordion
  A#               F              
I couldn't wait to see him and 
   C
share tales of our disasters
     A#            F              
Over dinner in his houseboat when 
  C
I saw I'd lost my passport
     A#            F               
So I got a rush appointment at the 
C
place where you replace them
      A#             F             
And I drove the baby in and on the 
C
way I got a speeding ticket
A#                F             
When the cop came to the window 
C                             A#
I was shaking and I said "I'm sorry"
        F                C        
But you couldn't hear me that's 
                              A#
how loud the sound of screaming was
             F            C
Cause he was hungry and I think that
 I was speeding
        A#           F
Cause I panic when I hear him cry
   C
My god what kind of a mother am i

A# F C

         A#                F      
And as I pulled out of the 
          C
breakdown lane I cried
         A#                F      
And as I pulled out on the highway
       C
 I said right
   A#        F           C
At least the baby didn't die
   A#        F           C
At least the baby didn't die"
            A#             F      
While I was waiting for my 
        C
passport I was hungry so
                  A#           
I twittered for a coffee in the 
 F
neighborhood
    C                          
And there I saw a woman who was 
 A#             F
sitting at the bar
           C
And it was noon and she was drinking
        A#                F       
And she called across the diner to
    C
 me How old is your baby?"
        A#           F
And she smiled at us nursing
        C                          
And she said she had a daughter who
     A#
 was grown
             F
And then she paused
             C
And said she also had a son
    A#                F            
And when I'd paid and was about to 
C
leave
  A#                            F 
I picked him up and crossed the 
                   C
room and touched her sleeve
        A#             F          
I said, Hey, this baby wanted to 
   C
say hi"
     A#                       
And she held him tight and she 
 F          C
started to cry
        A#              F     
And I'm sorry that this story's 
         C
gotten long
         A#          F            
And that everybody's crying in 
  C
this song
           A#              F   
And then I got back in the car I 
             C
turned the radio and heater on
    A#                 F           
And sat there with the baby in the 
C
back
              A#            F     
And they were talking about Syria 
    C
and climate change and IB S
        A#          F            
And the candidates' positions on 
C
Iraq
          A#              F
I feel so useless in this universe
  C
I know I could be doing worse
    A#             F           
I'm trying hard to stay at peace 
    C
inside
            A#           F
I know it's hard to be a parent
         C
But this mess is so gigantic
  A#          F               
i wonder if I should have had a 
  C
child
       A#                  F      
And as I pulled out of the parking
       C
 lot I cried
       A#                  F
And as I pulled out on the highway I
 said
C
 right

   A#        F           C
At least the baby didn't die
   A#        F           C
At least the baby didn't die

EVERYBODY:
   A#        F           C
At least the baby didn't die!!
   A#        F           C
At least the baby didn't die!!
           A#             F       
(i may not make it to the passport
          C
 place on time!)
        (At least the baby didn't 
die)
          A#              F       
(and they might revoke my license 
      C
for a while!!)
       (At least the baby didn't 
die)
       A#                  
(and I might get caught for 
 F           C
retroactive theft!!)
       (At least the baby didn't 
die)
       A#                 F    
(and I might get turned into the 
    C
DSS!)
       A#        F           C
But at least the baby didn't die"