Palinopsia

I stared at you so long
Your silhouette's burned on my corneas
I've loved you long enough
My limbs still twitched when you took my head clean off

I was defined by someone I have bad dreams of
At least I knew who I was

I'll find you when I'm fragile for you
But don't fix me if I'm not broke
No, I don't breathe the way that I was born to
When I catch my breath, I choke

That takes me back when I was young
The innocence that you knew nothing of
Thank God I'm not who I once was
But I wish you knew me when I was still as soft

Last month, you called, but no one just calls
Thought something happened
With you, I'm shocked it hadn't

Find me when I'm fragile for you
But don't fix me if I'm not broke
No, I don't breathe the way that I was born to
When I catch my breath, I choke
I haven't healed how I had hoped
When I catch my breath, I choke

Drove back to my hometown, but I can't find our old house anymore
I've got good sense of direction, I just didn't expect it
Between all the chain stores
I knew it would change, but I wished not in the ways that made it pure
You used to know me so well, I tell you: I'm still myself
Time's just run its course

You loved the smell of gas and of the fresh-cut grass when we still had a yard
I take you back to the old days, the ones that made future shit so hard
Man, you know where to find me, it's not in my nature to go that far
I'm your open wound, and you never can tell
If it'll heal on its own, or if I'm desperate for help