The Assumption

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There was an old farmer who lived on a rock
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He sat in the meadow just shaking his
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Fist at some boys who were down by the crick

Their feet in the water, their hands on their
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Marbles and play things at a half passed four

There came a young lady who looked like a
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Pretty, young preacher
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She sat on the grass, she pulled up her dress

And she showed them her
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Ruffles, and laces and white fluffy duck

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She said she was learning a new way to
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Bring up her children, so they would not spit

While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling
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Refuse, and litter from yesterday's hunt

While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her
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Eyes at the fellow, down by the dock

He looked like a man with a sizable
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Home in the country, with a big fence out front

If he asked her politely, she'd show him her
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Little pet dog, who was subject to fits

And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her
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Small, tender hands with a movement so quick

And then she'd bend over and suck on his
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Candy, so tasty made of butterscotch

And then he'd spread whip cream all over her
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Cookies that she had left out on her shelf

If you think this is dirty
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You can go f*ck yourself!