(You Must Be On) Crack

I'm really glad that you called.
I've been thinkin' too
Yes I agree I made a mistake when I left you.
I should have told you how I felt
instead I kept it all in
and now we're both left wondering what might have been
"I want you back" you say
"Oh baby, baby, there's no way!"

You Must Be on Crack
if for a moment you think I'm takin' you back.
I don't regret it when I left you on your ass
I only wish I hadn't done it with so much class

'Cause truth is, I never loved you
and the sex wasn't that great
I hear you're reading Cosmo
but baby, it's too late
I know now I was too nice
but I'm changin' that
I know next time to be a
bitch right off the bat
so let me get some practice in
you say you want me back again?

Chorus

Wish I could do it like Debby does
she says..."Don't EVER call me back!"
wish I could do it like Kimmy can
completely without tact
wish I could be coldhearted
wish I could be so mean
if I could be coldhearted no one would dare mess with me.

"But...I love you"
"Look, deal with it!"
"I told you he was a jerk."

Baby, baby for the last time
you must be out of your mind

Chorus