Once

The lights out on the city they always seem to dull at night
'Cause your eyes are so damn bright
I'd stare them down 'til both of mine go blind

The flicker of a lighter
The smell of a cigarette
Your secondhand tastes sweet
We ventured into alleys
Singing all those songs
It was chorus after chorus
I didn't care if the words were wrong

Let go of your fears, get ready for this
You know I love you

As I'm sinking into the depths of your bed
I'm sensing silence slowly stuttered into heavy heaving
Breaths

I woke up smiling by a window in a highrise in the city you lived in
Felt a small breeze drift in
It flew through my shirt when the chill hit my bones
I kissed you nose to nose
I found love in your eyes and the words that you spoke
Rid every ounce of doubt
I found purpose in your laugh and the roof of your mouth

There are delicate truths hidden deep in the corners of your lips
I would kiss them every night just to get a taste of some of it

As I'm sinking into the depths of your bed
I'm sensing silence slowly stuttered into heavy heaving

Spent the day in the car driving through state lines back from your parents house
Coldest December, the ice keeps you afraid
Gas pedal pressed too hard, no stop to my body's tremble
Nothing you say will convince me that it happened any different
Why was it him?
Was I ever enough?
Were you always with him on the nights I was gone?
Do you see his face when you stare into mine?
If it's nothing at all, why won't you say goodbye?

Don't blame me for the things in your head
I'm not your past
I'm not the things that she did
There is a part of you that never let's go
This blame is on you
I'll hold it, 'til I'm gone

I was a man once, now I can't breathe
Glass scalp, heart beat, there's blood on her cheeks
Under the hood, I hear her scream
Somebody, somebody please

Tell me, father, is it okay to cry when I am a murderer?
May not find forgiveness in life, but I found a bottle
Bathe me in blood
Soak my guilty hands
I lost faith when I lost her