Salon Mystique

Viv : At Salon Mystique,
To tell you the truth
We haven't the secret of eternal youth
But here are the creams
The powders and oils,
We slap on your skin an' 'air
To make you feel like flippin' royals
Your spirits are down
We'll give them a lift
We've not seen the laughter line
We couldn't shift
We're fighting the flab
It soon disappears
We'll turn back the clock
We'll roll back the years
We have the know how
With an oil of avocado
Soon we will show how
You can look like Brigitte Bardot

Viv/Receptionist : The young Brigitte Bardot

Viv : Now what can we do for you today?

Mrs Waterman : I wanna new look
Viv : We will transform you, madam - in a trice!
Mrs Waterman : Summut like her
Viv : What? Michelle Pfeiffer? Why not; very nice!
Mrs Waterman : Or Claudia Schiffer - which do you prefer?
Viv : Be less ambitious, love That's my advice.
Mrs Waterman : So how did it feel?
Viv : Hey up! I think I know what's coming now!
Mrs Waterman : You being so rich!
Viv : And blowing every cent, you soppy cow?
Mrs Waterman : Then chucking it all away
(And now she's broke, the silly bitch!)
I bet you feel daft.
Viv : Oh yes, Ms Pfeiffer, don't you like to gloat.
Mrs Waterman : You must have been thick.
Viv : Pass me that towel - I'll shove it down her throat.
Mrs Waterman : Just thinking of all that waste - it makes you sick.
Viv : Who did you hair last?
He'd had a few beers.
Sit back in your seat
And roll back the years

Roll back the years,
Old dears
Fight the good fight,
Wrinklies must unite.
Roll back the years

Mrs Waterman : So how did it feel like? Winning all that money?
Sue : Hey, Gran!
Viv : Sue!
Sue : Hey Gran! Guess what I've done?
Viv : What?
Sue : I've only gone and won it!
Viv : What you won?
Sue : I've only won the Lottery
Mrs Waterman : You Nicholsons are jammy bleeders!
Sue : Guess what?
I'm gonna blow the lot!
I'm gonna be like you, Gran!
I'm gonna Spend! Spend! Spend!
Twenty-five quid!

Viv : Still, that's what it felt like! At least, I think that's what it felt like...

Roll back the years, the years
Picture the past
Time that went so fast
Roll back the years,
All the things you can't forget,
Funny memories, and yet,
Somehow they're beautiful.

Roll back the years
The years.
Try to recall
Was it real at all?
Roll back the years,
See the girl I used to be
Always late - aye, that were me.
And maybe - beautiful...?