Ben Colder's History Book

Good Evenin' Ladies and Gentlemen of the Historical Society
You know in discussing history
Some people say well it's over and done with so let's forget about it
But we should remember we should remember Nathan Hale
Patrick Henry Tennessee Ernie Grandpa Jones
Oh my subject for this evening is great moments in American history

I'd like to start with the Boston Tea Party
I just like to start with a party
Well you know what they were doin' is they were protestin' against taxes
(Remember the Alamo) Sit down Tex I said taxes
Now it is true that George Washington was the father of our country
He admitted it he said I can't not tell a lie I did it with my little hatchet
Oh no I guess that was another story

Anyway George had this friend that just loved horseback ridin'
His name was Paul Revere
And one time he went out ridin' across the country side in the middle of the night
And yellin' and wakin' everybody up
He might 've been at one of them Tea Parties
Anyway this girl named Betsy Ross
Well she was up late doing some sewin' so she flagged him down
She said Paul Revere you'd better cut out all that yell'in'
Don't you know the British are comin'

It was Nathan Hale who said
I regret that I only have one life to give for my country
Them sun of a guns said aww that's alright we'll just take the one you got
And Ole Patrick Henry jumped up and said
I know not what course others may take but as for me
That all girl chorus looks pretty good

And it was at Bunker Hill
That somebody said don't shoot till you see the whites of their eyes
Well the trouble with that was
Them Red Coats had been on a wild party the night before
You couldn't tell their red coats from their red eyes

And who can ever forget when Admiral Dewey said to his capitan
You may fire goodly when ready so he fired goodly
As you probably know Ben Franklin was one of the luckiest guys in all history
But you know one cold winter day the gas company turned off his utilities
He asked 'em to turn 'em back on but they told him to go fly a kite
He did and invented electricity won an all electric home
Course the gas company didn't get much of a charge out of that
Now in closing I'd like to give you Lincoln's Gettysburg address
It's 117 1/2 East 6th Street I don't know the zip code