(Oh, Bianca, lovely Bianca) Now, Bianca McBrown weighs three hundred pounds She got eyes like rissoles in the snow She comes from St. Kitts, got a big pair of mitts She could lay Mike Tyson out with one blow When she lays in the sand, the tide goes out and Refuses to come back until she's gone One day, she bent down to hitch up her gown And we had an eclipse of the Sun (Oh, Bianca, lovely Bianca) We went for a stroll, she said Look at, that's a bull And that's a cow, and that's a sow, and that's a boar And just look at that, Joe! I said: Bianca, I know She said: Well, what do you want to tread in it for? By the barn door, we lay down in the straw And she said, as she gave my hand a squeeze Would you like a roll in the hay? And I said: Okay She said: Do you want fish paste or cheese? Oh, lovely Bianca, big fat Bianca, like a peach on an apricot tree I would charter a tanker and sail to Sri Lanka To thank her for her company Now, this big fat girl has got a map of the world Tattooed all over her skin One day, she showed me Japan, the Gulf of Siam I even had to peek at Peking On her left knee was West Germany Russia was on her right thigh But when I turned and saw my wife at the door I let the rest of the world go by (Oh, Bianca, lovely Bianca) So, I gave up my wife, and I began a new life With Bianca on the honeymoon cruise Our wedding night, it was great, I even let her stay up late To listen to the six o'clock news Now, I am never blue with my queen of tattoo A happier man could not be found I've got heat in the winter, I've got shade in the summer And moving pictures all the year round Oh, lovely Bianca, big fat Bianca Like a peach on an apricot tree I would charter a tanker and sail to Sri Lanka To thank her for marrying me (To thank her for marrying me) To thank her for marrying me!