Go Round Again

Benny Hill

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    The couple looked down at their newborn child
    In their shack that was falling to bits
    The mother said: Let's call it Johnny
    The father said: Let's call it quits
    And when Johnny was four, and his pa was too poor
    To buy toys from the Christmas shop shelf
    So he just fired his gun, and he told his young son
    Father Christmas had shot himself

    Now, one day, his ma took him to a fair
    And he went on a roundabout
    He giggled with glee, I wanna go wee!
    Everyone heard the boy shout
    She took him by the hand, from the fairground they ran
    She took him behind a big tree
    She said: There, shut your row, you can go wee now
    He took a deep breath and went, we!

    Then he said: Please, can I go 'round again, ma?
    Please, can I go 'round again?
    Oh, I love the sound of the merry-go-round
    Ma, please let me go 'round again
    I'll do all of my homework
    I'll even kiss old Auntie Gwen
    And I won't shout out loud, ma, I'll make you proud
    Oh, please, let me go 'round again

    At twelve, he danced with his gym mistress
    She said: Johnny, you're wicked, and you're bad
    I wish I was your ma for just half an hour
    John said: I'll have a word with my dad
    Then someone dropped a lit cigarette down the back
    Of her dress, but she didn't shout
    She just walked off the floor, and she said: What a bore
    I shall just have to sit this one out

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    And Johnny said: Please, can we go 'round again, Miss Rhodes?
    Please, can we go 'round again?
    I've not been this close to a woman before
    And heck knows when I will again
    Oh, I tell you true, I could dance with you
    Till the cows come home, and then
    I could dance with the cows
    So please, Miss Rhodes
    Please let me go 'round again

    At eighteen, Irene, with the hourglass figure
    Got him in a heck of a fix
    Her pa came 'round, and Johnny was found
    With his hands on a quarter to six
    They were married the next day in the church by the bay
    10AM, the 15th of June
    She looked lovely in white as she said: Johnny, tonight
    He said: To heck with tonight, this afternoon!

    Then can we go 'round again?
    In the meantime, can we go 'round again?
    I tell ya I haven't felt like this
    Since I can't remember when
    And seein' you lay there beside me
    Oh, it damn near blows my mind
    So please, can we go 'round again and again
    And then 'round again one more time?

    Johnny's mother-in-law came to live next door
    She had a tongue that stung like a bee
    She said: I'll dance on your grave, Johnny said: That's brave
    'Cause I'm gonna be buried at sea
    At fifty, he took to coming home late
    He wasn't a creature of habit
    If he came home early, his wife thought he was up to something
    If he came home late, she thought that he'd had it

    He was just ninety-one on the day he passed on
    It was the way that he hoped it would be
    He was shot by a beauty queen's husband
    In a fit of jealousy
    As he lay on the floor, a priest was sent for
    And with his last breath, Johnny confessed
    I spent all of my money on women and drink
    And like a fool, I squandered the rest

    Lord, can I go 'round again?
    Please, can I go 'round again?
    Oh, I can't believe that I'll never see
    Your sky or your trees again
    Oh, the girls and the wine and the living were fine
    And I shouldn't complain, but then
    You give damned short rides on this fairground of yours, Lord
    Oh, please let me go 'round again!

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