Send This To Your Crush Without Any Context

A D A D


A
  I remember when I first met you
D
  Your hair was so sweet and soft
A                         E
  I just wanted to cut it off and 
take it home with me
A                        
  We had a playdate at the 
      D
playground with our friend Tim
A                                 
  But he got in the nice mans van 
     E
when  candy was offered to him


F#m                            
  And he left with the two of us 
      D
together
A                         E
  Sexual tensions were so high

Wait, nevermind this was us as 
children
F#m
  And now that I think of it
                  D
singing about childhood love as an 
adult is kind of pedophilic
   A
so I'm just going to have to jump 
ahead a couple years
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E
  Ohh


A                             
  Do you remember when we first 
  D
kissed?
A
  I was so nervous
              E
that I nearly missed.. that was a 
Nickleback refrence
A
  And do you remember the time
                            D
Your mom got her hair stuck in the 
garbage disposal
                           A
While washing dishes so we had no 
other choice
But to scalp her with fisher price 
    E
scissors


F#m
  And the time you left the stove on
        D
and the cat lit itself on fire
        A                       
and its smoldering corpse burned 
                      E
down the rest of the house
F#m                          D
  And to cheer you up I went to the 
store
                      A
And I bought you some socks
                          E
Then you told me you were cheating 
on me


A
  So I tried to do the science
            D
to find out why you would do this to
 me
          A
And all I got was evidence
                             E
that the US moon landing was fake
                  A
I suppose there's things more 
important
like why are so many schools being 
D
shot up in America
                   A
like seriously and I'm worried about
 a girl
                          E
so I should probably just stop