Bless My Damage

I tried to live like I was pure
Hiding every twisted urge
Now I sit with all my sins
And say: You stay, you still belong

I used to scrub my guilty thoughts
Wash them till they lost their shape
Smiled until my jaw was hurt
Just to make you feel all safe

Every habit you called wrong
Held me up when nights were long
All the rage you tried to fix
Kept me moving through the mess

I don’t push them far away
I let every flaw stay close
If I try to tear them out
I just lose the parts I know

I love my damage, I won’t let go
I hold my demons, let them show
I won’t pretend that I'm something new
I keep the worst and I call it: Me

I used to chase your perfect praise
Edit every move I made
Choked on every doubt I had
Till it rotted in my head

Every cruel and jealous thought
Sat alone and tore my nerves
Now I pull them to the front
Give them all the space they earned

I don’t push them far away
I let every flaw stay close
If I try to tear them out
I just lose the parts I know

I love my damage, I won’t let go
I hold my demons, let them show
I won’t pretend that I'm something new
I keep the worst and I call it: Me

Let the envy stay with me
Let the anger take a seat
I can talk to every sin
Ask it what it tried to keep

I won’t throw myself away
Trying to look soft and clean
Every fault I drag onstage
Is another part of me

Bless my damage, let it stay
All my demons on display
No more hiding, no more shame
This is ugly, I proclaim

I love my damage, I won’t let go
I hold my demons, let them show
I won’t pretend that I'm something new
I keep the worst and I call it: Me
I won’t bow down to your idea of clean
I take my flaws and let them sing

I sit with rage, I sit with guilt
I sit with all the things I did
If the world wants something pure
It can turn away from this

I stay here with every fault
I stay here with every sin
I won’t beg to be revised
I accept the mess I am