I'm Bo Yo

Bo Burnham

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    Now I don't know if all Boy Scouts are gays
    They could probably tie the knot in, like, fifty different ways
    I got a safe full o' cherries, 'cause I pop it and lock it
    A girl's like a fridge, once a week, you should stock it
    Girl, if you're into rimming, it's only safe if you're swimming
    But, girl, don't sit on that couch 'cause I treat my objects like women
    I spit fire like I just blew a demon
    My shit's so hot, I'll leave your toilet bowl steaming
    I'm gonna tear it, like the cards of the gypsies
    You'll bleed for so long you'll get monthly ellipses
    If your pants are loose, I'll replete ya
    You're a first time vegan and it's nice to meet ya

    I'm Bo, yo
    And I'm the greatest rapper ever
    And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not
    Think you're better, you're not
    Don't need a sweater, I'm hot
    I'm a real G-shawty that can really find your G-spot
    Woah, yeah
    Hey, what the fuck's a G-spot?

    Go to a vagina orchard, count one, two, three
    Spin that plant around you got a third-world country
    That's right, consider yourself warned
    I'm offensive and creative like handicapped porn
    You're playing with your breasts, excuse me, can I try it ma'am?
    You're pushin' 'em together like a titty venn diagram
    Look at that crack, excuse me can I buy a gram?
    Right below your diaphragm
    Ass looks like you're hidin' ham

    First base, we're making out
    Second base, I'm getting faked out
    Said, third base, I'm getting take out
    And I'd try to take it home if I knew I'd take it out
    But I just don't know, I said I just don't care
    I said my flow's so cold I need a tampon from a polar bear
    And you can spell and smell my stink
    B.O. lingers and it makes you think

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    'Cause I'm Bo, yo
    And I'm the greatest rapper ever
    And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not
    Think you're better, you're not
    Don't need a sweater I'm hot
    I'm a real G-shawty that can really find your G-spot
    Woah, yeah
    Provided that you point me in the general direction

    'Cause girls are like donuts when I be bustin' Bo nuts
    I can make 'em cream-filled or give them a layer of glaze
    I'm like Doug's friend Skeeter whenever I meet her
    Because I skeet her so hard people call her Patty Mayonnaise
    (Oh, Nickelodeon and cum, what?)
    I'm blowing up like I thought I would
    I'm circumcised 'cause I don't cum from the hood
    My girl is epileptic cause she's the one I'm jerkin with
    Come on, you Asian child-laborer, show me what you're working with
    Ooh, large machinery

    'Cause there's an inverse relationship between respect and sects
    I'm talking 'bout religious sects like a Mormon sect
    That says you can't have sex with members of different sects,
    but you can't have sex with members of the same sex
    So if the sects can't be different and the sex can't be same,
    then the only sex left is some left-hand shame
    And girl I left you cause you left the game and if that don't feel right, then you can write my name

    'Cause I'm Bo, yo
    And I'm the greatest rapper ever
    And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not
    Think you're better, you're not
    Don't need a sweater, I'm hot
    I'm a real G that can really find your G-spot
    Woah, yeah, oh, but I'm inadequate
    Have I gotten that point across yet? How original

    Yo, my junk's so long that it hangs and swings
    So at the nude beach people think I'm lookin for lost rings
    Play the skin flute, your big boy sings
    And if you want to take it all, wear African neck-rings
    (They make your neck longer 'cause my, fuck it)

    Haters call me gay, but that ain't hating
    'Cause I'm not homophobic, my morals are straight
    And if I'm in the closet, then you are "below" me
    Taking the B-A-T out of basement, homey

    'Cause I'm Bo, yo
    And I'm the greatest rapper ever
    And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not
    Think you're better, you're not
    Don't need a sweater
    I'm a real G that can really find your what now
    Oh, yeah, well I'm Bo, yo, yo what, I'm representing you, I'm representing the people from the 01982, yo
    Oh, yeah, what, yo motherfucker, tingle, yeah

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