Planet of the Damned

"I ain't that bad" yet he said strangling down another mouthful of smoke
A cough clammered for his attention and just the sight of his own nicotine soaked fingers
Gave him the universal high ho from fearsville
"howdy pardner" cried death from the corner of his cozy closet
"you ready yet?"
"no I ain't that bad yet" he said as he strangled down another mouthful of that crazy gas
He was headed down straight downtown to the steamboat lounge
He saddled up next to the bar and ordered himself a round of applause
But settled for a rodeo warm lone star and a shot of something that was supposed to be tequila he asked the bartender how he was doing and the bartender told him he didn't want to know and taking a look at the guy figured he was probably right
Right then this girl walked in and he knew she was the one
She had a butt like a bad b movie and a chainsaw smile that cut him right in two
He asked her if she'd like a little company and she was just drunk enough not to know better
After awhile they headed back to his place
They stopped off at the local diamond shamrock and picked up a few late night essentials
A six pack of bush light tallboy 16oz's on sale for a buck ninety nine some rolled gold pretzels
A box of lifestyle ultra sensitive nonoxynol-9 lubricated rubbers in the pink box and some advil
They got back to his palace of misguided passion and dabbled in some codependency denial based
Bullshit conversation played a little game called lie about your sex history and hit the sheets
It wasn't the greatest attest to his lovemaking skills he'd ever have a chance to play his part in
It was kind of like trying to stick a raw oyster into a parking meter

"I live on the planet that crumbles round my head everyday
And changes are inevitable but good luck never seems to come my way
I'm just waiting for some sunshine a way of life that I can understand
While I sit here in the shadows
On this planet of the damned"