The Toy

G                                 
My baby don't want fancy things.  No
C
 diamonds, furs, or limousines
G                             
She just wants my lovin all the 
             D
time.
G                                 
When I'm at work, she still wants 
      C
more, there is one thing she's 
beggin for
G                D               
to fill the void when I'm not by 
    G
her side.


Chorus
C                           
A multi function jumbo dong,  
  G
waterproof 12 inches long
A7                           
with a G spot stimulator and a 
   D
suction cup to attach to the table
C                         
Vibroshaft, rotating beads, 
  G
cyberskin with 7 speeds
A7                               
the Cadillac of hand held rubber 
G
wangs.

Verse 2:

G                                 
So i went down to the sex 
  C
boutique, to find the toy that's so 
unique
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G                                 
That takes my place when I'm not 
                 D
by her side.
G                                 
And there I found much to my 
   C
shock, her lifelike toy was out of 
stock
G               D                
So I asked the clerk to show me 
       G
what he had.

Chorus 2:
C                                 
he had remote controlled vibrating
         G
 thongs, mulitcolored double dongs
A7                       D
A g spot stimulator that kind of 
looked like a miner's helmet
C                                
A backdoor buddy, a latex fist,  
G
that's right I said a latex fist
A7                                
and a rack of 4 inch weiners, 
        G
marked half off.


Verse 3:

G                                 
And there it was, it caught my 
  C
eye, behind the fist and spanish fly
G                                 
It was the one she wanted all 
        D
along
G                                  
I drove back down to her place and 
C
found my best friend on her face
G                       D        
I shoved that latex toy where the
           G
 sun don't shine.


Chorus
            C                      
It was a multi function jumbo dong,
  G
  waterproof 12 inches long
A7                           
with a G spot stimulator and a 
  D
suction cup to attach to the table
C                         
Vibroshaft, rotating beads, 
   G
cyberskin with 7 speeds
A7                          D
that SOB will never be the same
C                                 
He won't forget this love affair. 
  G
 That toy's still in his derriere
A7                                
And now I wish I'd bought that 
   G
latex fist.