Rookie

i never thought this could be me
i guess you never do until it's happening to you
like all the fun turns into shame
and all the "could have beens" rearrange
so little time so many crimes guilt like a chain chokes my will away
redemption never seemed so cruel
and all my gods never seemed so weak
wake up engage now derailed and enraged it used to be so easy
get up i'm game now sick and i'm tame counting cost with lost
where is the hope they gave
don't think that i can't hear you laugh
i used to be a lot like you but now i'm only me
drink to pills to shots turns into shock a habit and a pawn
for every hand goes round the pain gets so damned loud
the hammer hits and i'm down
trust no one
hey why should i they gave me the poison dressed like life cheated smacked up and diseased cry to sleep and fight to eat
used to be a pro at this
now I've broken my own wrist
rotten teeth and life unsung you'll forget me when I'm gone