Trauma

Growing up I never had a lot of money
I never had a phone
Always was a little hungry
Used to find it hard to sleep
When I could hear my mother sobbing
I was 10 back then
I didn't have a room
Had to buy used shoes
I hid behind tunes
To avoid abuse
And every time I fell
I would blame it on myself
Even if it was an accident

Maybe it's not what I want
Oh I've seen better days
And the moment fucking sucks
But I'll be damned if I don't stop
And, honestly, why not
When nobody gives a fuck

But sometimes I just can't help myself
I wanna give up trying
And start doing something else
Sometimes I just get overwhelmed
I know it's in my mind
But I think I need some help

'Cause sometimes I just can't help myself
I was an outcast
Thrown out to dry and get laughed at
Too shy to talk about home
I always thought life was supposed to be cold
And oh I've been so
Lost without hope
I got a window in my head, it's a casket
You know I been wishing I was dead, but I mask it

Maybe it's not what I want
Oh I've seen better days
And the moment fucking sucks
But I'll be damned if I don't stop
And, honestly, why not
When nobody gives a fuck

But sometimes I just can't help myself
I wanna give up trying
And start doing something else
Sometimes I just get overwhelmed
I know it's in my mind
But I think I need some help

Because it's all I know
My hands around my throat
Pray that I won't let go
This time around
But every single time
I try to shut my eyes
I see the reason why
I'm not alone

Sometimes I just can't but sometimes I just can't help myself
I wanna give up trying
And start doing something else
Sometimes I just get overwhelmed
I know it's in my mind
But I think I need some help
Sometimes I just can't help myself