Am G F G [Verse 1] Am Driving with a yellow dog, I-95 G He's got a smile on his face and big shiny eyes F Up at a decent hour, never ate yet G Got a little Johnny Cash in the ol' tape deck Am Nothing in the trunk but some baseball gloves G A pair of jumper cables and a set of golf clubs F Blanket on the back seat, we're in rough shape G Sunroof held on with a bit of duct tape Am Looking for a gas station, better make a list G Fill'er up with regular, I need to take a piss F Sexy girl air freshener, snacks and that pinwheel G Top up the fluids, clean the bugs off the windshield Am Not a care in the world, not a how and a why G No destination, not a cloud in the sky F Back on the road not a moment too soon G Dish ran away with some other spoon [Chorus] Am Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog G With an old dog singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on F Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish G Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress Am Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog G With an old dog singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on F Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish G Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress [Verse 2] Am Hole in the muffler, ghosts on the shoulder G Cough drops, loose change in the beverage holder F To roll down the window, you gotta use a wrench G Been thinking about brushing up on my French Am Right there in the glove box, if you should look G You'll find 40 parking tickets and a copy of the Good Book F Don't bother looking, you'll never find me G I'm starting from scratch and leaving trouble behind me [Chorus] Am Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog G With an old dog singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on F Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish G Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress Am Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog G With an old dog singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on F Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish G Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress [Verse 3] Am Christ Almighty, there's a rattle in the wheel well G Dog fell asleep and man, I don't feel well F But all I need's a half decent breakfast G And I'll be back at it, dirty and reckless Am Five o'clock shadow, lips like mudflaps G Hands like eagle's talons, eyes like hub caps F The further I get, I keep goin' faster G Whispers in the wind and cows in the pasture Am I have no plans and nothin' to prove either G I eat out of a bag and sleep in a movie theatre F The highway's a story teller, I just write it down G Already been beaten, there's no way to fight it now Am I just kick back and keep warm on the cold days G And laugh cause it ain't like it was in the old days F I figure when I make it to the Heavenly gates G They'll be working on my car and playing '78's [Chorus] Am Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog G With an old dog singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on F Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish G Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress Am Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog G With an old dog singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on F Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish G Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress