Ballad Of John Bobbitt

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Here's a little story of a man named John,
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A poor ex-marine (with a little fraction gone)
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It seems one night after gettin' with the wife
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She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife.
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(Penis, that is) (Clean cut, missed his nuts)

[Verse 2]
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Well the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side
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And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride,
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She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend
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And tossed him out the window as she rounded out a bend.
Continues after the ad
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(Curve, that is) (Lost the knob, in the shrubs)

[Verse 3]
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She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
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And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back
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They sniffed, and they barked, and they pointed "over there"
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To John Wayne's henry that was wavin' in the air.
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(Found, that is) (By a fence, evidence)

[Verse 4]
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Now peter and John couldn't stay apart too long
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So a dick-doc said, "Hey! I can fix your dong
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A needle and a thread's just the thing you're gonna need.
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Then the world held its breath 'till they heard that Johnny peed.
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(Wizzed, that is) (Stitched seam, straight stream)

[Verse 5]
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Well, he healed, and he hardened, and he took the case to court
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With a cock-eyed lawyer (since his assets came up short),
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The cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape
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And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape.
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(Video, that is) (Unexposed, case closed)