Squander

I can confess but believe me it's true
You walk all day in a fog of abuse
When you see, we will be, at the front of the pack
I know you won't care about what we lack

I wish that we could all see
How futile is our crying
We'll sit and watch as all our seeds
Will grow and bloom into nothing
The soil is putrid and diseased
Was it worth all this fighting?
I'm just the sum of my bad deeds
They'll swell and sprout into...

Sprout into hate, it was no mistake
You will find me drinking at the bottom of the lake

I can't be sure of your intentions to love
Broken, afraid
Strength is hard to regain
I can't be saved, i'll end up starving alone
End of my days, you'll find me praying for grace

I wish that we could all see
How futile is our crying
We'll sit and watch as all our seeds
Will grow and bloom into nothing
The soil is putrid and diseased
Was it worth all this fighting?
I'm just the sum of my good deeds
They'll swell and sprout into nothing

I know i'm not okay
But i'm not afraid, i'm not afraid
I see my reflection
It isn't clear, i'm not really here
I know i'm not the same
And i want to change, how can i change?
I'm numb to everyone
I swear to god, i'm at the very end of my rope

I'm fading so fast
I've lost who i am
Sure, i'm still here
But i can't comprehend
Why i just can't be happy
Even though everything seems so complete in harmony
Something is not right
Something's here with me

You reek of deception
The smell is rancid, how can one stand it?
Your tongue is running rampant, lies so stagnant
We are all the same
A crowd of sinning saints
Show some restraint
Yeah, we are all the same
Crying to be bathed
Rotting youth of today
We can't be saved, beating the corpse of a dead saint
I know this scares you to hear, so blatantly spoken
With lives so broken, it seems sure to me
You won't be saving me

Who are you my friend?
Who was the one who let you in?
I don't recognize your face
It's so faint, another time, another place
Who are you my dear?
Who you are, i fear
Who is this person in the mirror?
How did you, end up here?
(you've planted this seed in me.
It's bloomed into such hatred
For your wretched excuse for importance)
Who are you to say?
Who are you to lay? (with someone else)
Who are you to love?
Who are you to cry?
Who are you to die?
(am i any lesser of a person
Because i don't live and breathe
In the same sin and filth as you?
I've found my own disease.)