Circuitry

Today I woke to find the world I once knew is gone
I'm at a loss for words today
The lines are down, I'm not answering
Disconnect and rewire everything
I'll sit and recount all the situations I could have changed
But the hardest part is realizing that I was the problem

I can't change. I'm sorry but it's true.
Don't put your hope in me.
I exist for the most part but mainly in my head
So unfortunately I can't save you

I'm a sinking ship. Cut ties now and save yourself
Make a choice. It's me or you. I promise nothing but a bitter end
When it's said and done we all move on but right now I'm drowning in my head

Everything I love I push away
And all the things that hurt me I hold close to my heart
This is one bad dream and I can't wake up
How the hell did I get here?

So here I am yet again
Another day the same as before
It never changes and I have no clue what I'm looking for
I thought it would fall into place
I thought I would stop questioning but I can't
I'm sorry this is the curse that follows me.

One more day and it will all be fine.
Who am I'm kidding? I won't do anything
I can't change. I'll try my hardest
But this is the best version that you'll get of me

I'm not hopeless; I know exactly where (who) I am
And that's the problem, but I can't (wont) lie to myself again