Long Lost

I never thought I’d have the heart to tell you every truth I’ve locked away
But now these fears won’t cease to ache inside my brain
You brought me up and hid me from the torment of this cruel world and now
Like a son without his mother, I face this hell with nowhere to turn
I face this hell with nowhere to turn

How could I ever forget the way you suffered?
The way you showed me love you’d never felt from another
Yet I had the nerve to curse your name when all you did was show me comfort

Looking back, how did you ever have the will to keep a loving heart
When everything you held onto had left you in the dark?
From your stolen youth to your crooked lovers
Living in one state, moving to another
You somehow have the room in your heart to love somebody like me
Now I’m setting the record straight
Letting it all come through, I’m putting ink to the page
I realize that this was never your fault and I’m sorry

As hard as I’ve tried to frame you as the cause of all the mistakes I’ve tangled myself in
Bridges I’ve burned at both ends, and my own self-loathing…
I can not bring my hand to paint such a picture any longer
I’ve spent so long holding in this bitter taste and now all I want is to remember your sweetness
But I know that through coffins, beds, love, and regret we’ve made for ourselves…
This life is ours, so we live it

If this is the last thing I say to you
Just know that I’m learning to love myself
And I’ve learned to love you too