Sixteen

Stared into a white light and felt no reason to stay
You let the April breeze carry you away that day
And after two years, it’s still not easy to say, what I feel
When these thoughts of you bleed into my sanity

And the few times that we spoke seemed as if they were in confidence
And the times you showed your smile
It was brilliant and honest
I never quite knew what it meant
And I wish I’d never known
I wish I’d never fuking known

Stepping back into the past, I can see the crowded chapel
I can hear your friends crying
Sunken eyes stuck to the floor, I can hear every whisper
On graduation day, through the eyes of a mother I can see the agony
When I think of you… I wonder what happened and what that says about who I am
Am I living a life of meaning?
Is this life even worth living?
I don’t have all the answers
But I know one thing
And that’s Christian, if you’re out there, if you can hear me

You have no idea how much I wish you could see
The life that layed before you, who you could’ve been
But that was so much more than you could see at sixteen
And maybe that’s why I can’t catch any fucking sleep
Maybe I wait all night for you to come and visit me
Tell me why can our innocence can never stay alive?
It’s not right