Mungojerrie And Rumpleteazer

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats

We have an extensive reputation
We make our home in Victoria Grove
This is merely our centre of operation
For we are incurably given to rove

When the family assembles for Sunday dinner
With their minds made up that they won't get thinner
On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
Then, the cook will appear from behind the scenes
And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow
I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
For the joint has gone from the oven like that

Then the family will say: It's that horrible cat!
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer?
And most of the time, they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
Have a wonderful way of working together
And some of the time, you would say it was luck
And some of the time, you would say it was weather

We'd go through the house like a hurricane
And no sober person can take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer?
Or could you have sworn that it might have been both?

And when you hear a dining room smash
Or up from the pantry, there comes a loud crash
Or down from the library, there comes a loud ping
From a vase which is commonly said to be Ming

Then the family would say: Now which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
And there's nothing at all to be done about that
And there's nothing at all to be done about that!