D                                                  A
Good afternoon, Chris             Do you mind if I call you that?
         G                                    D               A
See, me and my partner here       Have just a few questions to ask
        D                                            A
We are here today                 On official good person business
    D                G            D          A
Regarding calls that we received  From an anonymous witness

    Bm                 D               E
So you've been right here all along  Underneath my nose


[Pre-Chorus]
G    A          D
We have you surrounded
Bm   D    A
There's nowhere to go


[Chorus]
G              A                         F#       Bm
Okay, okay I confess          I'm not a work in progress
Bm               A     D               E           G
All my thoughts are illegal   I'm not safe around people
G        A          D
I have always been evil


[Verse]
D                                       A
Counting the stairs                    Two of them at a time
       G                               D          A
'Cause if there's not an even number   I'm gonna die
        D                                          A
As an exercise                   Just imagine you are your fear
          E             G               D      A         F#   Bm
Now make it small and small      And smaller until it disappears


[Pre-Chorus]
Bm              A    D                  E
Look at this splash of ink and tell me what you see
A     D                     Bm    A
Me, feeding a lion under a palm tree


[Chorus]
G                 A                     F#          Bm
Why is everyone laughing?   I have no proof but it happened
    Bm         A     D             E         G
I'm as bad as they come     Turn around and run
G        A          D
Don't wanna hurt anyone

G               D                        F#       Bm
Okay, okay I confess          I'm not a work in progress
Bm               A     D               E           G
All my thoughts are illegal   I'm not safe around people
G        A          D
I have always been evil