Elmo's Last Laugh

No Teletubby with a dildo on his head
No Pee Wee Herman jerking off when Jambi says
No purple dinosaur dancing with the Prozac kids
No Eureeka's Castle who gives a shit
No more Zoe or that blue fucking Spanish freak
No more Baby Bear I can't stand the way that he speaks
No more Elmo talking in third person
Laughing like an asshole
Talking in third person
You ruined a legacy
Everything was just fine without you
You are the enemy
Of the 80's and the early 90's youth
The puppeteers tripped on LSD
Cookie Monster never gave a fuck about obesity
The Count gave into his OCD
Big Bird Bert and Ernie questioned their own sexuality
Aworld corrupted by "tickle me"
Makes my ears bleed
Elmo must die
C is for cookie that's good enough for me
O is for Oscar we like our Muppets mean
D is for deathbed where Elmo sleeps eternally
S is for the seams that we tear apart so violently
You ruined a legacy
Everything was just fine without you
Who died and made you king
Jim Henson must be turning in his grave
Car fifty-four we're gonna need a stretcher and a sewing kit
Brought immediately to 1-2-3 Sesame Street
The cause of death suffocation by Snuffleupagas
Yip yip yip yip yip yip uh huh uh huh
Yip yip yip yip yip yip uh huh uh huh uh huh