Pick Em Lick Em Stick Em

D                           G    
I was 15 goin' on 20 when I met 
            D
up with this old man
G              D                 
He was quite a lover of the cards
            A
 and of the dice
       D                           
He had whores and he had ladies, he
      G                D
 made love and he made babies
He could tell some damn good stories
     A              D
 and give some good advice
(chorus)You gotta learn how to pick 
         G            D
'em son, learn how to lick 'em son,
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G            D             E    
Learn how to stick 'em son 
       A
between the thighs.
          D                      
You gotta try not to beat 'em too 
       G          D
much, try not to teach 'em too much,
G          D              
Try not to feed 'em too much 
   A            D
bullshit and lies.

He'd sit down and pour some whiskey,
 then he'd mix it up with water.
Here's a picture of my daughter he 
would say, then he would sigh.
Then he'd drink and laugh a little, 
as he picked up that old fiddle.
That same old riddle, I never did 
know why.
(repeat chorus)

Now the years have seen him buried, 
his daughter and me married.
I was sure he raised her right and 
taught her how to fuck.
When I asked her what he told her, 
she said he'd never scold her.
He would always hold her, but he 
never told her much.