Chaospiracy

Daily, frequently
It insists, chaos settles in me
In my life, in my deeds
A controversial desire for being free

I'll try to find a way
How to survive this day
Play dead and let it be
Or reach for what I need?
Eyes that look at nowhere
Mind flies to everywhere
Must I obey those rules?
Or do what I think is fair?

But what is fair when you're in hell?
For things that you are ashamed to tell
Refuse to think in what I've been
A suicidal desire for serenity

Search in my mind again
How do I break these chains
Short breath accelerates
Blood seems to freeze in veins
Eyes that look at nowhere
Mind flies to everywhere
Must I obey those rules?
Or do what I think is fair?

One more dose, one bottle of whiskey
My good friend is always there for me
With the advice that I must get out
This inner war is killing me
One more dose, one bottle of whiskey
My good friend is always there for me
And puts me doubts if I'm doing right
This inner war is leading to

Destruction, self destruction
Disorder, filled out the blank

One more dose, one bottle of whiskey
My good friend is always there for me
With the advice that I must get out
This inner war is killing me
One more dose, one bottle of whiskey
My good friend is always there for me
And puts doubts if I'm doing right
Or I am just a bad seed

Seems like the world became my enemy
Seems like there is a conspiracy
In my life and is has begun
Chaos is here

I can't give up now
I must face it
My life, it's my life
I decide it
Decide it, it's my life, must face it

Walk on my shoes, before you judge
You don't feel what I've felt
Pain in my heart, pain in my mind
My soul is boiling
Chaos is here
My life is ruled by a new disorder
Conspiracy, the world fights me
Then I will fight it. I will fight it