The Portree Kid

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A man came riding oot the west one wild and stormy day
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He was tall and quiet and hungry his eyes were smoky grey
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He was lean across the hurdies but his shoulders they were big
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The terror of the hielan' glens that was the Portree kid

[Chorus]
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He drum ho, he drum hey, The teuchter that cam frae Skye.

[Verse]
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His sidekick was an orra’man, and oh but he was mean
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He was ca’ed the midnight plough boy, and he came frae Aberdeen
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He had twenty seven notches on his cromak so they say
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And he killed a million Indians, way up in Stornoway

[Verse]
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Portree booted in the door he sauntered tae the bar
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He poured a shot o crabbies he shouted Slàinte Mhat
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While midnight was being chatted up by a bar room girl called Pam
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Who said well howdy – stranger, wad ye buy's a babycham

[Verse]
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Now over in the corner sat three men frae Auchertool
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They were playing games for money in a snakes and ladder school
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The fourth man was a southerner who’d come up from Macmerry
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He'd been a river gambler on the Ballachulish Ferry

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[Chorus]
     Bm        Em              Am               Em
He drum ho, he drum hey, The teuchter that cam frae Skye.

[Verse]
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Portree walked up to the table and he shouted 'Shake me in'
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He shoogled on the egg cup, he ]gave the dice a spin
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He threw seven sixes in a row and the game was nearly done
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But he landed on a snake, and finished on square one

[Verse]
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The game was nearly over and Portree was doing fine
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He’d landed on a ladder, he was up to forty-nine
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He only had but one to go and the other man was beat
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But the gambler couped the board up, and shouted "you're a cheat"

[Verse]
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Men dived behind the rubber plants to try and save their skins
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The accordionist stopped playing, his sidekick dropped the spoons
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He says "I think its funny, you’ve been up the ladder twice,
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And ye always dunt the table, when I’m going to throw the dice"

[Chorus]
     Bm        Em              Am               Em
He drum ho, he drum hey, The teuchter that cam frae Skye.

[Verse]
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The gambler drew his Skian Dubh as fast as lightening speed
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Portree grabbed a screwtop and cracked him O the heid
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Then he gave him laldy wi’ a salmon off the wall
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And he finished off the business, wi’ his lucky grousefoot's claw

[Verse]
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Portree walked up to the bar, he says "I’ll hae a half"
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And d’ye like the way I stuck it on that wee Macmerry nyaff
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But the Southerner crept up behind his features wracked wi’ pain
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And gubbed him wi' an ashtray made oot o' a curling stane

[Verse]
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The fight went raging on all night till opening time next day
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Wi’ a break for soup and stovies aff a coronation tray
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It was getting kind o' obvious, that neither man would win
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When came the shout that stopped it all "there’s a bus trip comin in"

[Chorus]
     Bm        Em              Am               Em
He drum ho, he drum hey, The teuchter that cam frae Skye.

[Verse]
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They sing this song in Galashiels and up to Peterheid
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Way down o’er the borders across the Rio Tweed
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About what became O’Portree, Midnight and the gamblin' man,
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They opened up a gift shop selling fresh air in a can

[Chorus]
     Bm        Em              Am               Em
He drum ho, he drum hey, The teuchter that cam frae Skye.