Let's Have Intercourse

[Intro] C  Am7  F  C
        C  Am7  F  C

C         Am7      F            
Unfortunately, I want to have 
     C
sex with you
C                Am7         F  
I don't know what happened, 
                G
maybe you lost some weight
Am7       F                       
For some reason, you're now on the
 C           G
 top of my to-do list
                C       Am7
Let's get this over with
        F               G
So I can focus on other tasks

C                       Am7
Let's have intercourse
         F                 G
Just pretend I'm seducing you
Come on, let's quickly have 
 C          Am7
intercourse
         F     G          C     Am7
So I can move on with my life
F         G
My busy life

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C       Am7          F
You and I are both highly 
                 C      G
intelligent people
C         Am7         F         
Although I'm in much better 
       G
physical shape
Am7      F                       
Once we do it, it'll be like 
   C                G
well, that's what that was like
C                       Am7  
And you'll hopefully go back to 
    F               G
seeming weird to me

                        C          
But right now let's have 
  Am7
intercourse
       F                   G
I mean, obviously you want to, too
                       C           
Just super quickly have intercourse
 Am7

      F              G
You could use the exercise

Am
Sometimes my body wants things that 
my mind does not
F
My body wants things that make my 
mind go "Uh, body, what?"
C
We're animals, it's unfortunate
G
So come on, let's contortion it
Am
I won't be back to normal till I see
           G
What your nipples look like

They're probably straightforward 
 C      Am7
nipples
F                 G
I won't know for sure
           N.C.
Until we stop wasting time talking 
'bout it and we super quickly it'll 
only take a second
        C        Am7
Have intercourse
             F                     
Good thing I happen to have an old 
 G
condom
       C
In my wallet