Notches

Noone to wonder when I'll be home
One more night stoned alone
Ever-increasing notches on my belt
I want to feel more than just sorry for myself

I still feel stupid when I cry
I need to try

To find a way to fix my head
And not be so damn self-obsessed
To learn to like to be myself
And not rely on someone else
To care not for fears and not for doubts
And just for those I care about
To try because I want to try
And not to try for only I

I wait for something to change
Maybe what should change is really me

Now I can see why I was cast aside
You'll all have a better love, you'll all have a better life

Watch me spread my wings just to fall down
Watch me waiting here, flat-faced little clown