Ruin It, Ruin Them, Ruin Yourself, Then Ruin Me

I tremble at the thought of what I've become
That sorry proud image in puddles leaves me crying rivers
These tender words are muted by the stench of life
Long before they could ever reach your ears.
You relate to mere echoes of what never stops but in my mind.
Entrails of truth left to scatter at the feet of humanity.
Plain sight leaves sour taste in this parched mouth.
Remain stricken with doubt
As I exchange pounds with those who remind me what I was
And confine me to chains with my blood.

I wonder if I will ever shed this feeling
Worn grotesque physical whose voice provokes wonderment.
Smooth violet light briefly eases the hardened sounds from belly of mechanical beast
And then itself is extinguished.
As will be my voice I suppose.
From this silence arose a wail of freedom through violence.
Am I permitted to vent thoughts recited a million times before?
Fluid drenched I eavesdrop onto Middle America
Same concerns as my youthful blood
And yet I have to sit alone.
The odd loud screech which may have startled a few from this middle poor Americana dream.
The rest only to sleep.
My speech the soundtrack to their nightmares.
Moonlight, once again
Burns my image, once again
A million times, into a million minds,
Through crust caked eyes
Who only pray to die...
Once again.

There is no remedy to my sickness.
Vivid view of nothing that was ever here.
Witness the subtle shifting of troubled souls towards a new mark in this wet sand.
Enjoy the bland mundane circumstance that led us to this staring match.
Breathe deep within my own collapse.

Ruin it, Ruin them, Ruin yourself.